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Joke of the Day
"What does Donald Trump say after sex? I'm **President**"
Next Joke
"What do you call a girl who stands in the middle of a tennis court? Annette."
"Today's youth are getting worse.. Today's youth are getting worse. I was in a church yesterday, when I saw a guy lighting a cigarette from the candle. I was so shocked, that I dropped my beer bottle"
"Why do the Lannisters have such big beds? Because they like to push two twins together to make a king. (Game of Thrones ref)"
"A beggar attacked me with a frying pan... ... he was arrested for panhandling."
"I prepared chicken today. I said, ""Listen, there's no easy way to say this..."""
"Around my neighborhood I'm affectionately known as ""Please stop taking pictures of my flowers you weirdo."""
"Has anyone ever seen Matthew McConaughey and a statue made out of overcooked bacon in the same room together"
"What did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? See ya next month."
"My favorite part of the Bible is when God gives humans free will, then kills them with a flood because they didn't act the way he wanted."