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Joke of the Day
"Everybody values honesty, until they have an ugly baby."
Next Joke
"Two peanuts are walking down the road One is assaulted"
"You prefer white wine over red? For god's sake, try and see the world with some claret-y"
"Benedict Arnold's boy pointed out the front window ...and pointed at a maple. ""Look daddy, a bush,"" he said excitedly. ""That's not a bush,"" Benedict replied, ""that's a tree son."""
"[on the phone with an ex while violently twisting and stabbing a voodoo doll] Are you sure you're ok?"
"Doc: Let's check your reflexes. Me: I have the reflexes of a cat. Doc: *hits my knee with a hammer* Me: MEOW! *scratches Doc's eyes out*"
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Cy ! Cy who ? Cy'n on the botton line !"
"A man tried to sell me a coffin today. I said, ""That's the last thing I need."""
"Whenever my wife forces me to write my own message on a bday card, I write it on top of her's and copy exactly what she wrote."
"Orange Julius is the third best thing to happen to oranges behind mimosas and the ""orange you glad I didn't say banana"" knock knock joke"