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Joke of the Day

"Make the little things count... Teach midgets math."

"How do you comfort a grammar nazi? Their, they're, there."

"Why was a happy couple weary to kiss at the gas station? They were scared of sparks flying."

"Just tried to even up my sideburns and now I'm a hairless cat."

"It's a little known fact that Elton John doesn't like iceberg lettuce, he's a rocket man."

"They say you can't skip leg day Ironically it is because of leg day that you can't skip."

"[first day as tour guide on the moon] Me: keep your hats on Guy at the back: um they're called helmets Me: yeah you can take your hat off."

"Never give your address or date of birth to anyone on social media. Armed with this information, they could show up at your birthday party."

"I'll never cheat on another test... It keyed my car and told the cops I beat it up"

"Why does salt come in a bottle? Because it's white I don't know why it's funny. I just heard it so can someone explain it to me?"