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Joke of the Day

"There's a man walking a tight rope. 100ft below him there's a man getting a blowjob from an 80 year old woman. What are they both thinking? Don't look down."

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"[Knock Knock] Halloween 1981, the Potter Household Voldemort: knock knock James: Who's there Voldemort: You know James: You know who? Voldemort: Correct James: ... James: Fuck"
"What happened to the Indian that drank too much? He tee-peed his pants."
"The 70's called. They built a time phone."
"I'm taking my kid to an aquarium today. (I'm putting my kid in the closet with Sponge Bob videos)"
"Suicide is only illegal because dead people can't pay taxes."
"Back then: You are the bomb, yo Future: You are the clock, yo"
"A murderer sitting in the electric chair was about to be executed. ""Have you any last requests? asked the chaplain. ""Yes"" replied the murderer. ""Will you hold my hand?"""
"They should make a weed strain called ""WMD"" Except it turns out it doesnt exist"
"Did you hear the one about the constipated mathematician??? He worked it out with a pencil. ;)"