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Joke of the Day

"New Zealand scientists have discovered two new uses for sheep... Meat and wool. (Exchange for Welshmen if need be)"

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself...& murderous clowns, & ISIS, & one of these two getting elected President after Halloween."

"The legal system is like bleach, Works perfectly for whites, but not with colors."

"What does Johnny Depp say when cutting down trees? TIMBUUUUUUUURTON"

"My weird uncle Dale has a job yelling at cars on the side of the highway. It doesn't pay actual money, but it's cool that he's his own boss."

"How's it going? ""I'm so glad you asked, really need to talk to someone right now"" You're supposed to say 'fine' & ask how I am. Bye."

"What do you call the largest angle? A Kurt Angle."

"What's the difference between your job and a dead prostitute? Your job still sucks"

"a fish walks into a bar..... the bartender asks ""what will it be?"" Fish replies "" am dying for a glass of water."""

"I don't think Muslims go far enough.... I don't think Muslims go far enough in killing people who draw images of the prophet Mohammed. I think they should kill people who are named after him as well."