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Joke of the Day

"How do you make a venetian blind? Poke his eyes out Credits go to my 90 year old grandfather, currently completing his PhD"

"May he without sin cast the first stone [Everybody picks up rocks] Sharing Netflix passwords counts as sin [Everybody puts rocks back down]"

"If you read a text in front of the mirror three times, I will appear and help you analyze it."

"What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone? You can't hear an enzyme!"

"I just watched a documentary on marijuana. I think all documentaries should be watched this way."

"Have the uneasy feeling there are Baldwin brothers out there I don't know about yet."

"Every husband is a farmer by default.. his survival solely depends on ""Agree""culture"

"I met a woman at happy hour... She had a tattoo on her bikini line. It was a picture of a conch shell. She said ""If you put your ear to it, you can smell the ocean""."

"What if I told you... You read the first line wrong Made you look"

"What did the decorators say when they went to church? ""Repaint! Repaint! And thin no more!"""