50476

Joke of the Day

"I thought it was impossible to do 450 push ups in a minute until I discovered lying"

"Just seen an illegal Mexican boy get into a van with a pedophile. Talk about alien vs predator"

"I hate Russian dolls, they're so full of themselves. http://imgur.com/gallery/8u6m2Nv"

"smh, I bought tickets to Disney on ice & it was just 2 hours of Donald Duck smoking crystal meth"

"""i'm positive i can find a wrong way to eat a Reese's"" i say as i begin drilling a hole directly into my stomach"

"I caught my girl cheating with my best friend on my new leather couch... Of course I yelled at him.. He's not allowed on the couch. (Made this one up this morning.. Still playing with the wording)"

"Why did the felon have so much energy? He was well arrested!"

"Why is golf named ""golf""? Because all the other fore letter words were taken (Thanks to /u/bonerfar... this now makes sense...)"

"ELI5 How easy is it to get into watching NETFLIX... ...when I haven't even seen NETFL**I** - NETFL**VIII**"

"What do you call a disappointing white wine? Prosecc-oh..."