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Joke of the Day

"How many people does it take to change a light bulb? Is just one of the questions I should have asked before buying a lighthouse...."

"Knuckle tats: (M)(Y)(P)(A)(R)(E)(N)(T)(S) (W)(E)(R)(E)(R)(E)(L)(A)(T)(E)(D)"

"Life is meaningless and we all die in the end xD"

"What do you do when Ronda says ""Not Tonight""? Kick her out of bed"

"Eating a banana. Thought I should tell you. Twitter seems concerned about women getting enough potassium. But... why can't I use my teeth?"

"A Spanish magician announced that for his final trick, he would vanish into thin air. He counted down: uno, dos, then POOF! He was gone, without a tres."

"Artists can often be compared to a parabola After they compose, they decompose."

"Daddy! Tell me a story.. The Tooth Fairy is really a wicked witch, who takes all your teeth if you sleep with your mouth open. Good night."

"I'm making a documentary show about the different jobs in the air travel industry. The first episode is about the flight attendants."

"Just payed a cab driver $10 not to beat two dudes with a tire iron because they didn't have cab fare. #fact #trueshit #newyorkmoment"