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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler? Usain Bolt was able to finish a race."

"Repent! Seek jesus! Judgement approaches!"

"What has 3 thumbs and was born near a nuclear power plant? This guy"

"Two guys walk into a bar... Two guys walk into a bar near the optometrist, but the third one already got his glasses, so he's fine."

"That awkward moment when your in super deep thought. Then 3 minutes later you realize you are staring directly at someone."

"Why isn't there a neutron mod in the Skyrim Steam Workshop? Because there'd be no charge."

"What does an elderly composer use as a walking aide? A Zimmer frame"

"Ya know? You're like a blister... you only turn up once all the hard work is done."

"Hey! I got a new job working in quality control at a knickers factory! I'll be pulling down about 800 a week."

"Dating Tips. C all her 69 times a day. R ing her doorbell and hide. E avesdrop by phone tapping. E ye her bffs. P oke her on FB."