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Joke of the Day

"A large hole was found in the middle of the city. Officials are looking into it."

"My lasagna just took a picture of me and posted it on Instagram"

"Couples who have been married for a long time start finishing off each other's sentences. The most popular being ""Shut up""."

"The first thing I'm doing with my time machine is telling my past self to only microwave popcorn for 2 minutes max."

"What do you say to change the atmosphere at a dinner party? ""If were all here, who's looking after Madeline?"""

"Why did the man take a pencil to bed ? To draw the curtains !"

"Come here and listen close and carefully, I'm going to slowly explain what condescending means? Go ahead and take notes if needed."

"Did you hear about the big marijiauna company scandal? They were putting drugs in there products"

"Monday I start my new job at PepsiCo. They told me I need to show up with nothing but a Can O' Dew attitude."

"Solution to world hunger: food. Boom, done, next problem."