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Joke of the Day

"How many Americans does it take to change a bulb? None, Mexicans do it for them."

"What did the slut's left leg say to her right leg? Nothing. They've never met."

"I'm like a cupcake, I'll go straight to your ass, girl."

"I saw a black guy running from my home with a television I think to myself "" Isn't that mine ?"" Then i realized "" Nope, mine is at home picking cottons """

"Why is there so much blood in my alcohol system?"

"Was looking at smoking pipes on Amazon & realized that CW could look at my history.So,I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats."

"I'm torn between having 'wish you were here' or 'look behind you' engraved on my headstone."

"funny how dumbass pet animals will eat the same thing every day without realizing that Subway offers over 19 different ways to Eat FreshTM"

"I tried to catch fog the other day I mist"

"A hobbyist metalsmith was arrested for displaying his handmade pennies in public. What was he charged with? Indie-cent exposure."