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Joke of the Day

"Whats the point of calling it ""secret Santa""? Everyone knows that the person who gave you the gift is Santa."

"A furniture-maker got caught by his wife coming in at 4am ""Damn it, Jesse! I will not let you ruin our marriage over one night stand!"""

"You have the face of a saint. Which one? Saint Bernard."

"My wife said the infinity scarf I got her is too small and I said: ""That's mathematically impossible."" Anyhoo, we're divorced now."

"I always envisioned Hermione as a burly, middle-aged Italian fellow, so imagine my surprise when the films revealed her to be a little girl."

"Q: What do astronauts eat for dinner? A: Launch meat."

"If an Apple today keeps the doctor away... If an Apple today keeps the doctor away then he must be using IOS6 maps."

"Bill Cosby walks into a bar The rest is a blur!"

"After a rough night, I woke up one morning and thought I should join Alcoholics Anonymous... I changed my mind though, because I am NOT a quitter."

"what kind of pants does the godfather wear? al pa-chinos"