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Joke of the Day

"Are you gonna tattle to HR every time I threaten to burn your baby? Grow up!"

"Every day I thank God for giving me the power to keep being an atheist!"

"Ey gurl, is your name Andromeda? Because you got a heavenly body! It's 5:50AM and I still can't sleep."

"Only in math problems can you buy 60 cantaloupes and no one asks what the hell is wrong with you."

"I hate it when I'm watching porn and suddenly there's a man's butthole right in my face. And I'm like ""go away, dad. I'm watching porn."""

"The best way to get the right answer on the Internet is not to ask a question, its to post the wrong answer."

"Confusious say ""Man who eat many prunes sit on toilet many moons."""

"Whoa whoa whoa. Stand down, nipples. It's just a little chilly weather, nothing to get excited about."

"I like my sex how I like my endoplasmic reticulum... Rough"

"My friend said they didn't want to die abroad... But I thought they already were one?"