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Joke of the Day

"If a letter sounds like its name... ...is it an LMNOP-uh?"

"A man asks his friend, ""What would you do if we only had 24 hours before the end of the world?"" ""I would fuck everything that moves"", his friend says. ""What would you do?"" ""I wouldn't move."""

"Wanna see a banana split? Wait until it turns black and tell it he's the father."

"When you thought all of the celeb deaths of 2016 were over then WHAM!"

"I'm tired of talking to the monkey!! I wanna talk to the Organ Grinder!!"

"How do u kill a blonde paraplegic with one arm hanging from a tree? Wave"

"Asked a vegetarian if she'd heard this song, then remembered vegos are too weak to turn on radios and way too busy playing with their lutes."

"How do you know if someone's vegan? Someone else will make a vegan joke, then when the vegan points out that non vegans refer to veganism more than vegans do, some jackass will say ""found the vegan"""

"Aliens who abducted a drunk Russian gave in... and let him drive for a bit."

"The best joke that I have ever heard :) And the Lord said unto John, ""Come forth and you will receive eternal life"" But John came fifth, and won a toaster"