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Joke of the Day

"SiriusXM is broadcasting NASCAR because there's nothing more exciting than listening to people drive."

"Why couldn't Snape be a Herbology teacher? Because he wasn't able to keep the Lilies alive."

"My life is a constant cycle of waiting until the weekend and then not doing anything when it comes."

"What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers."

"What is long, hard, and full of seamen? A submarine"

"Doctor, doctor... I have a cold and feel like I'm about to explode... ...well sit down and blow your nose up!"

"Scientists have invented a new device called the hyperbole chamber. It is the greatest and best thing ever since the dawn of civilization."

"""should i go into the arts?"" ""can you imagine yourself doing anything else?"" ""no"" ""then i wouldn't go into the arts, with no imagination"""

"Does pornography degrade women? Or does it merely raise the standard by which they are judged?"

"Dating: *prances around in underwear and his t-shirt* Marriage: *Unzips footed unicorn onesie* Do you think this mole is cancer?"