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Joke of the Day

"If you blow out the kid's Birthday candles at enough parties, people will just stop inviting you to them."

"A Truck full of terrapins going north and a truck full of tortoises going south... They collide. It was a turtle disaster."

"I tried to get my mom to switch from AMD to Intel... ...but I couldn't Celeron it."

"If I had kids I would name them Ctrl, Alt and Delete so when they misbehaved I would just hit them all at once."

"""What do we want?"" ""A cure for ADHD!"" ""When do we want it?"" ""Squirrel!"""

"Scientists: Don't freak out about Ebola. Everyone: *Panic!* Scientists: Freak out about climate change. Everyone: LOL! Pass me some coal."

"I bet a heroin addict could find a needle in a haystack."

"What did the chick pea say when it got a stomach ache? I falafel."

"Coffee so strong, it still works even though you've disabled java."

"Did you hear about the guy who told everyone goodbye and then didn't leave? It was much adieu about nothing."