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Joke of the Day

"Cosmetology school was a real letdown. Anyone wanna buy a spacesuit?"

"[Ice Cream Truck] John Cena: I'll take an Icee, please. Ice Cream Truck Driver: Icee? You? Cena: *grabs driver's shirt* No, you can't."

"Ate a whole box of donuts. But I ate them *really* fast so hopefully that counts as a workout and balances out the calories."

"Q: Did you hear the watermelon joke? A: It's pitful."

"Two IT guys are having a chat during a coffee break and one of them sais to the other: Could you borrow me $500? Of course. But let's round it up. Here's $512."

"Do you know what happens when you don't pay your exorcist? You get repossessed."

"How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, as long as there's a bed inside."

"I want a firsthand test of the ""mo money, mo problems"" hypothesis."

"This morning I... changed a lightbulb, then I walked across the street so I could walk into a bar, and then is suddenly realized: my life is a joke."

"Welcome to Alzheimer's Club I see a lot of new faces today"