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Joke of the Day

"Am I financially wealthy? No. But am I rich when it comes to relationships, happiness, and experiences? Still no."

"A naked women robbed a bank. Nobody could remember her face."

"Some people need therapy. ... The rest of us just know how to conceal evidence"

"The worlds best ninjas comes from Iceland Anyone actually seen an Icelandic ninja?"

"What do you call the entrance you come through from hell to get into heaven? The Glory Hole"

"Kids these days have Wikipedia... When I was a kid, all I had was a drunk uncle."

"I was kicked out of mime school once. I hadn't put the safety lock on and my finger guns went off. The whole class took cover in their boxes"

"[speed dating] HER: So what do you- ME: How fast can you order a pizza? HER: I don't- ME: *hits buzzer* NEXT"

"Why doesn't Oedipus curse? Because he kisses his mother with that mouth"

"New studies show 9/10 people enjoy gang rape."