49049

Joke of the Day

"*Steals parking spot from guy backing in* Him:*middle finger* Me: [rolls down window] I SEE THAT YOU'RE NOT MARRIED. I ALSO AM NOT MARRIED"

"My favorite short joke. How much cum does a queer have? ... A buttload. I always found this humorous because a lot of people use 'shit load' or 'fuck ton' as units of measure."

"I made a belt out of $100 Bills. It's a waist of money."

"Why do farts smell? So that deaf people can enjoy them too."

"I suck telling jokes.. Because I start laughing even before I reach the punchline. The doctor says I have a premature hehejaculation."

"Do you want some help using the Internet son? No thanks Dad I can muck it up all by myself."

"What did one maggot say to the other who was stuck in an apple? Worm your way out of that one then!"

"Have you tried rocky mountain oysters? They're offal."

"Why is Ireland the richest country in the world? Because it's capital is always Dublin."

"*writes ""with my squad"" under a picture of me and several cats"""