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Joke of the Day

"Damn gurrrl, is that chocolate on your face? *licks face* Damn gurrrl, that is not chocolate on your face."

"TIFU by taking someone else's sandwich at the deli today Oops... wrong sub"

"Why are black people so fast? Cause the slow ones are in jail"

"When my wife wants my opinion, she'll give it to me."

"2 Asian's walk into a bar, Barman asks why the same face!"

"Ugh man, I hate when pornos try to have a story. Don't act all surprised dude, just do her."

"Why was John Lennon shocked when he got his wife's gynecologist bill? He had misunderstood the doctor when he said ""I do probe Ono."""

"My girlfriend burned our Hawaiian pizza today... I should have told her to put the oven on aloha setting."

"TIL ~10,000 people quit smoking every year By dying. I'll ^show ^^myself ^^^out"

"I put a Justin Bieber's song as my alarm tone and it works wonders cuz I wake up before it goes off so I don't have to listen to that shit."