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Joke of the Day

"What kind of shoes do Frogs wear? Open Toad sandals... I'll show myself out - thank you"

"What do you call 6.022 x 10^23 avocados? A guacamole."

"5 missed calls from my mom. Frantically called her back, expecting tragedy; nope, wallets are on sale at Kohl's."

"Apart from designers, what profession is the best at making clothes? Biologists, they work with genes all the time."

"I read that burglars use Twitter & Facebook to see when people arent home. So from now on, Im at home. With a rifle. And a hungry crocodile."

"For my next trick I need a condom and a volunteer..."

"My programmer friend keeps telling me I'm using too many brackets. I keep telling him that two wont hold all those books he never reads."

"Ever since they started calling pole dancers ""artists,"" I've been writing on my resume that my talents include ""moving in artistic circles."""

"Quick! Can fingerprints be pulled off a raccoon? No time! NO TIME!"

"Did you know that a male ejaculates at 27mph? That's why I always get in trouble when I do it in school zones."