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Joke of the Day

"My sex life's improved dramatically since my wife died. For a start, she now takes it in the ass."

"Q: Where does Santa stash his money? A: In a snowbank."

"Does your skin feel burnt? Because I think you must have just fallen down from heaven, and re-entry gave you a tan."

"I had an imaginary girlfriend for a few years, but she ended up leaving me for my best friend. He had a bigger imagination than I did."

"How do you titillate an ocelot? .... .... You oscillate its tit a lot"

"I gave my baby a teething toy so she would stop chewing on my fingers. She wasn't interested because it didn't scream out in pain."

"My eleven year old brother: ""I have Asperger's Syndrome..."" ""...want a burger?"""

"*tosses banana peel out the window during a police chase*"

"What does an egg say when its ""turnt up""? Omlet!"

"Where is the best place to stream a suicide ? On Google HANGout."