48818

Joke of the Day

"Did you hear the joke about the pencil? There's no point."

"There's two fish in a tank, and one says ""How do you drive this thing?"""

"If a kid refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?"

"I am fed up with all these incest jokes about us Kentuckians. It's offensive to me as well as Uncle Dad."

"Was late to my first Fight Club last night so missed the intro rules. Still, Fight Club was brilliant and I'd highly recommend Fight Club."

"2016 Election Honestly hurricane Matthew should run for president because I think he left the biggest mark on the country"

"If God didn't want me to scratch my ass he wouldn't have made it taste so good."

"[at wife's funeral] Son: At least shes in heaven now Me: [delicately places hand on his shoulder] You don't know shit about your mom"

"Why does Dr. Pepper come in bottles? Because his wife is dead."

"The seventh rule of Fight Club is no one leaves until ALL the chairs are put away."