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Joke of the Day

"Was late to my first Fight Club last night so missed the intro rules. Still, Fight Club was brilliant and I'd highly recommend Fight Club."

"I got a text! I hope it's from....... OH MY GOD, LEAVE ME ALONE"

"Bloody Fords! How is a voiceless crow like a Ford dealer? They both have broken kaa's."

"""Sobbing"" autocorrected to ""throbbing"" and now my attempt at showing my sensitive side has taken a very different direction."

"Small problem with Donald Trump's like logic. Yes Donald, you can build a wall, yes you can make the Mexican's pay for it. But who's gonna build the wall?"

"Asked an artist friend if he does nude portraits He charges by the pound"

"What's Nigel Farage's favourite Christmas song? I'm dreaming of a white Christmas."

"What was Mussolini's favourite dessert? Tyranisu"

"First apple: You look down in the dumps. What's eating you? Second apple: Worms I think."

"The only thing worse than sitting down on a cold toilet seat is sitting down on a warm toilet seat."