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Joke of the Day

"a fun prank is when ur friemd about to sit in a chair u pul the chair out from under them and replace it w/ a fancier mor comfortabal chair"

"I went to the doctor's office the other day And he told me, ""you've got to stop masturbating so furiously."" I responded, ""why, doc?"" He angrily responded, ""because, I'm TRYING to examine you."""

"My 84 mother to my 19: Make-up sure does wonders but you don't want your future husband waking up wondering who you are in the morning."

"My friend compared me to a singular cloud in an otherwise blue summer sky No one wants me around. Which admittedly is pretty great...I had no idea he thought so highly of me."

"Why does my computer say Hello? Because it's a Dell."

"Can you repeat the part after ""Listen very carefully""?"

"I think what I despise the most about blind people is knowing they'll get rid of that dog as soon as they start to see."

"Why do you have to separate red shirts when you put them into the laundry? Because red shirts die easily."

"What musician has the hardest instrument to play? A Tromboner."

"Cottonballs is a great example of something I would buy but not want as a nickname. Cinnamon buns, however... Credit Dymitri Martin."