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Joke of the Day

"Alway be nice to anyone that has full unhindered access to your toothbrush."

"That thing your kid said wasn't funny."

"How do you kill Donald Trump? You dont, that would be a poor life decision you would most likely be imprisoned. But you get to practice your TRUMPet."

"People keep asking what I thought of my Oklahoma trip It was OK"

"I think between the two of them, Kim & Kanye had enough money for a box of condoms."

"the doctors gnash their teeth and howl through the night, but they dare not breach the lines of my apple orchard"

"What do a call a fish with no eyes A blind fish"

"[ping pong] ME: 3 to 2, my serve JESUS: M: can I have the ba- J: the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve M: [exhales] every time"

"Why are black cats such good singers? They're very mewsical."

"Spiderman ruined romance for me. Please don't even think of kissing me unless you're hanging upside down from a building."