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Joke of the Day
"How did Mars feel when the colonists were approaching? Terra-fied."
Next Joke
"What's the difference between a successful bank robber and one who ends up in prison? One's a pro, and one's a con."
"One time I swallowed an entire box of Alphabits whole and the only thing I pooped out was the lyrics to a Nicki Minaj song"
"Girls are like Math problems If they are under 18 , it's better to do them in your head."
"What do you call a horny priest? A firm believer."
"cucumber and potato. What the potato said to the cucumber? - Hi, How are you? What the cucumber answered? - OH MY GOD!!! A TALKING POTATO!!!!!!!!!"
"Don't forget to pay your taxes this year so the Government can give it to people that don't work as hard as you."
"Has anyone ever told you what it's like to be royally screwed? Let me fill you in."
"I lost 7 followers today. It's nice to know some people are finally reading my tweets"
"[in hell] Me: *sneeze* The devil: bless you Me, waving as I float to heaven: haha, fool the devil: DAMN YOU Me, floating back to hell: dang"