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Joke of the Day

"When someone offers me constructive criticism, it's clear they've mistaken me for someone else."

"I'm gonna stay a virgin my entire life I wanna set a good example for my kids!"

"The trouble with quotes on the internet. ""The trouble with quotes on the internet is that you can never know if they are genuine."" - Abraham Lincoln."

"How did one gold atom greet the other gold atom? 'ey you."

"YO MAMAS SO FAT WHEN SHE WEARS A RED DRESS ALL THE KIDS SCREAM LOOK ITS THE KOOLAID MAN y"

"The other day, I was looking through my socks, when I found one had a hole in it... ""darn it..."" I muttered."

"My kid wants pizza without the crust AND a side of breadsticks. It appears I've given birth to everything that's wrong with America."

"Kid: Are you the babysitter? Sting: Yes. Every breath you take. Every step you take. I'll be watching you. It'll be fun! Kid: *horrified*"

"What's the hardest part to cook in a vegetable ? The wheelchair"

"Was at a 90s themed party with my girlfriend. She went to get us drinks and was back within seconds. I asked her how she got them so fast. There's no punchline."