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Joke of the Day

"What's the first sign of AIDS? A pounding sensation in the ass."

"When the Boogeyman goes to sleep at night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris."

"*night falls, the full moon rises* ME: go, please! i don't want you to see me...like...this HIM: omg what's happening ME: *asleep by 10 pm*"

"What did socialists use before candles? Electricity"

"Wheelchair tax The new tax on wheelchairs has been met with major resistance, with some users refusing to stand for it."

"What happened to King Midas after he facepalm'd? He turned into Donald Trump."

"When anyone ask me to babysit, I ask if their kid is a ""mean drunk"" or a ""happy drunk."" Gets me out of it every time."

"Man walks into a bakery Says to the baker ""I'd like to buy a wasp please."" The baker says ""Sir, we don't sell wasps."" The man replies ""Well there's one in your shop window!"""

"Got fired from the firedepartment Guess putting a sticker saying 'find em hot and leave em dripping' wasn't a good thing to put on our truck"

"Just popped in to say I'm considering switching to Depends. I'm not having a problem, but new underpants everyday!"