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Joke of the Day

"Next time the cashier asks me if I want ""Paper or Plastic"" I'm just gonna say, ""Doesn't matter to me, I'm bi-sacksual."""

"did you see Iran play in the world cup? I heard they played like Shiate'"

"Husband: You're like homework Wife: Why? Are you gonna throw me on the table and do me all day? Husband: No, leave you alone and masturbate."

"I used to work in a haunted pub... There was spirits everywhere."

"You guys want to play that new Michael Brown drinking game? It's easy, you just stand there and take eight shots."

"Racism Q: How do you find a white person in the condiment aisle? A: UM EXCUSE YOU THAT'S RACIST!!!!----oh look, there they are!"

"What lies in a pram and wobbles? A jelly baby."

"You're a party girl until your looks deteriorate. Then you're just a drug addict."

"I found a lone sock left in the laundry room and I thought to myself, ""poor sole""."

"My priest told me that my inner kid in me is still young... I don't think the inner kid in him is as young as the kid he was in."