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Joke of the Day

"Got the cheese sweats. Got the cheese sweats real bad."

"is this Sara? hi, this is Tom from HS. my god its been years! Anyway, im calling because u changed your HBO Go password & I need the new one"

"If a guy remembers the color of your eyes after the first date, chances are ... you have small boobs."

"How can you tell if a farmer is a good farmer? He's out standing in his field"

"I wanted to be an investment banker when I grew up Then I lost interest."

"What do you call a privileged post office? Cis White Mail"

"Woke up to 5:15am phone reminder telling me I need to set my alarm for 8am. Thanks last night drunk self. This is why we don't have friends."

"The Proclaimers walked 500 miles without a Fitbit?"

"Why do golfers have the best chauffeurs? Because they're good at picking their drivers."

"What weighs 4 tons and is bright red ? An elephant holding its breath !"