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Joke of the Day

"Introverts don't get ready for a party. They gather strength for a party."

"How did Stevie Wonder meet his wife? On a blind date"

"Two tampons are walking down the street. One is a name brand, and the other is generic. Which one talks to you first? Neither. They're stuck up bitches."

"Vader: I'll teach you the Death Star's power Leia: By blowing up my planet? Vader: By showing you a PowerPoint presentation Leia: NOOO!!!"

"RIP to my hair dryer. It was the only thing to blow me for the last 10 years and never complain."

"I work in a popular hotel... I see people come in to stay from all over the world, yet for some reason I've never seen a Native American here. I guess they just don't like to make reservations."

"If I ever get kidnapped, my plan is to just talk non-stop about Lost until they see that I'm very annoying, and they return me to safety."

"And remember kids, when you go to Target, there really is no ""non creepy"" way to ask where the Vaseline is."

"I got thrown out of the topless bar today... I felt like a boob..."

"What did the milk say to the cheese? Hey, you're old!"