220854

Joke of the Day

"i failed a piss test at work you guys. Yeah, I made a poop instead! Hahahaha"

"The king splits his kingdom for his three sons... -F**k yeah, said the Fourth Son"

"I just shortened my to-do list by 90% simply by crossing off everything that would cause me to make the evening news."

"I had the worst day EVER!!! I found a hair in my booger and it totally ruined my booger :("

"As a kid I thought a lot about growing up, getting a job and having kids, but not this job and certainly not these kids."

"The term ""mentally ill"" is reserved for white people. Brown people are called terrorists. Black people are called thugs."

"A blonde orders a pizza A blonde orders a pizza and is asked if she wants it cut into six or 12 pieces. She responds, ""Six, please. I could never eat 12 pieces."""

"You could introduce a raccoon to a walrus as ""my Grandpa Steven,"" and neither would bat an eye. THAT'S WHAT'S SO GREAT ABOUT ANIMALS."

"A cop pulled me over and said ""papers"". I said, ""scissors, I win"" and drove off."

"Avoid confrontations in the work place by slashing your coworker's tires while they sleep."