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Joke of the Day

"If revenge is a dish best served cold AND revenge is sweet then revenge is basically ice cream. Bring it."

"I went to a metal concert, the singer was a bit ill... Still fuckin' sick though!"

"A game of cat and mouse, but it's just me chasing random strangers when I see them with donut boxes."

"i'd tell a joke about food but... It'll be of bad taste"

"So a Mexican magician says he could disappear in three seconds. He starts to count....""uno, dos"", and poof, he disappears without a tres."

"What's the difference between an Olympic swimmer and an Olympic diver? Mark Spitz and Greg Swallows Yeah, I know it's old...."

"What's worse than having a screaming child on your hands? Having half a screaming child on your hands."

"Bonnie Tyler is performing a concert in Greece next month. She'll be singing her classic. I need a Euro."

"I parked in a disabled space today and a traffic warden shouted, ""Oi, what's your disability?"" I said, ""Tourettes! Now fuck off you c*nt!"""

"What did the mortician say to his new necrophiliac employee? Don't worry, you'll fit right in."