136827

Joke of the Day

"If revenge is a dish best served cold AND revenge is sweet then revenge is basically ice cream. Bring it."

"Did you hear about the little skunk who got lost in the woods? He called home on his smell phone."

"Our dishwasher works exceedingly well, as long as you only put clean dishes in it."

"What do you call someone with lots of imaginary friends? Schizofriendic"

"I bought an extension ladder from a recovering alcoholic on Craigslist... But it only has 12 Steps!"

"""Whose funeral was this photo taken at?"" John, serious tone: ""I dunno. Let's see who's missing"" possible funniest thing john has said"

"Dont trust any kids asking for bread this Halloween. Theyre more than likely just ducks dressed up as kids. I wont fall for that again."

"I called the pet store to ask if they sell exotic cats. ""Yes"" he said. ""Serval Varieties"" ^I ^better ^see ^some ^horrible ^retaliatory ^puns ^in ^the ^comments"

"Winehouse paramedic was intoxicated on duty... ... after attempting mouth to mouth resuscitation."

"Blizzards are like sex it's really fun while it's happening but afterwards there's a lot of white stuff laying around that no one knows what to do with"