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Joke of the Day

"When I get home to find my wife naked in the tub, seductively asking me to ""warm her up"", I dont waste a second.. to throw in a hairdryer"

"""Hello, Pizza Hut"" Hi, how many slices are on a large pizza? ""eight"" And a medium? ""eight"" *long pause* I'd like to speak with your manager"

"A comedian walks into a bar full of r/historians.. [deleted]"

"My missus has a punctuation fetish Whenever she has a period, I get to use the colon."

"What do you call the gay A team? The Heyyy Team"

"If I gave you a penny for your thoughts I'd totally be expecting some change back."

"Because of the efforts of my great grandfather, we don't speak German in this country. That's because he single-handedly killed 11 language teachers."

"Why do bald men have holes in their pockets? So they can run their fingers through their hair."

"What does a 1 eyed, 1 legged, and deaf kid get for Christmas? ...Cancer"

"I have 6 mental illnesses Schizophrenia, OCD, ADHD, dislexia, anxiety, and hypochondria."