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Joke of the Day

"Did you know? Did you know that babies, fresh from the womb, can see all around them for 10 seconds.....after they're decapitated"

"I almost had to go the hospital today because a stranger threw a can of Pepsi at me... I'm just glad it was a soft drink. Otherwise, I would have had to get surgery."

"A psychic goes to buy clothes Employee: how about this one? Psychic: That top is too small Employee: You didn't even try it on Psychic: I'm a medium"

"Tomorrow is April Fools Day. Believe nothing, and trust no one. ""So it's like any other day."""

"Why was the nun hooked up to an IV of holy water? She was taking god's name in vein."

"What do you call a black woman on the moon? An astronaut."

"Is my corny pun... A-maize-zing?"

"My ex still misses me... Yesterday I narrowly dodged a .22 round discharged at long range."

"*somehow manages to beep at you sarcastically*"

"What does Tony Stark call his semen? Pepper spray"