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Joke of the Day

"I just read a long article about Japanese sword fighters. If you want, I can samurais it for you."

"""The trash compactor is full so just dump that in a pan for now."" - Inventor of the fruit cake."

"I was just at a cell phone convention and stopped at the Virgin Mobile booth. It was just a bunch of nuns in wheelchairs."

"He told me he wants my heart ""Sharon I'm pretty sure he's a serial killer"" No way! *later on with guy* Wow you're really into bondage huh?"

"For all those men who say""Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"" I say: why buy an entire pig just to get a little sausage!"

"Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the sequence 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3? Because in charge of sequence, Yoda was."

"What do you call a know-it-all Mexican? A Solution Manuel"

"How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? They don't. They just arrest the entire room for being dark."

"Why did the girl walk past her crush twice? He didn't believe in love at first sight."

"I Once Tried to Break the World Record for Most Records Broken Suffice to say, the employees at Village Music World were not happy with me."