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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the guy who was half black and half Japanese? On every Dec. 7, he would attack Pearl Bailey."

"What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong *walked on the moon* but Michael Jackson was a *pedophile.*"

"Knock Knock.. Who's there? Razor. Razor who? Razor hands it's the police. I need friends."

"I never thought a fleshlight would feel like the real thing, but last night I got drunk and totally tried it. And I have to say, it was a pretty good fucksimilie."

"What do you call an Egyptian doctor who works on peoples backs? A Cairopractor!"

"Why did the fatty cross the road? Because the free pizza wouldn't"

"I hate the people who shout ""THIS IS THE POLICE, OPEN THE DOOR YOU CREEP"". Who plays those kind of jokes anymore? You're scaring my wife. She's only 12, jeez."

"If Miley Cyrus really wanted to shock us at the VMAs, she'd show up in a burka covered in a snowsuit and slowly add more clothing each hour."

"What did the Israeli Prime Minister who can't say the word ""and"" say about candy that caused such a hubbub? Mike Ike's are my least favorite."

"Why did the hen win a Wild West duel between it and a Peacock? Hen shot first."