47741

Joke of the Day

"Just watched a commercial...How is it possible that the side effect for asthma medication is shortness of breath?"

"All a woman wants is a strong, confident, capable man who will wear whichever shirt she tells him to."

"TIFU by giving my coworker my #23 I got his Togos #24. I hate avoc... whoops, wrong sub"

"How does the redneck help his wife with the dishes? He gets her Dawn."

"Do you ever think about the Vice President... ...sitting at his desk, looking around his office and thinking to himself, ""Fucking corners."""

"I went to an extremely attractive female doctor today for my annual checkup. She told me that I had to quit masturbating. I asked why and she said, ""Because I'm trying to examine you."""

"Why pink camo? Do people hunt barbie jeeps or try to sneak up on pepto bismol?"

"Me: I don't care how cute you are, I will tear you to shreds if you don't start cooperating. Wrapping paper: *rips*"

"I speak fluent hint. - No man anywhere, ever, never ever"

"How many passive-aggressive people does it take to change a lightbulb? Oh never mind, I'll just sit here in the dark..."