47734

Joke of the Day

"I asked my English GF if I could have sex with her sister today She said you can't I said no you're a cunt!"

"how does a moel make his money? he collects the tips."

"I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went... ...then it dawned on me."

"Taught the 5yo to say ""totes magotes"" to annoy my husband who can't figure out why the kid keeps yelling, ""COACH MY GOATS, DAD!"" Nailed it."

"Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels."

"There was a man who entered a local newspaper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns--maybe one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did."

"France is a shitty country... Even the Nice parts are rundown."

"[break-in] BURGLAR: [cracks safe] COP: Not so fast, kiddo BURGLAR: [cracks safe more slowly]"

"Know why cowgirls are always bowlegged? Cowboys don't take their hats off while eating."

"[NSFW] What's the difference between pussy and parsley? Nobody eats parsley."