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Joke of the Day

"So I was reading about the Lucy fossil in National Geographic the other day and I have to admit, she looks kinda sexy... No homo tho."

"Guy walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing only Saran Wrap... Guy: doctor, I've been hearing voices. Can you help? Doctor: I'll try to diagnose but I can clearly see your nuts"

"As a German, I sympathize with the unnamed masses of the Star Wars universe. For I too know what it's like to be betrayed by an evil Chancellor."

"When my mother was 53 she started running 5 kilometers every day. Now she's 68 and we don't know where the hell she is..."

"If you love a woman, you shouldn't be ashamed to show her to your wife."

"""Dad, why isn't there chocolate meatloaf?"" - my brilliant 3 year old son Patrick"

"You Must Be From Ireland Because everytime I see you my penis be Dublin."

"I Told my wife I lost 10 pounds in a hour The She said ""Sweety, we call them Dollars here"""

"Have you ever woken up because of a boner? Alarm cock."

"What's brown and sticky? Muhammed Ali opening a can of coke"