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Joke of the Day

"So I was reading about the Lucy fossil in National Geographic the other day and I have to admit, she looks kinda sexy... No homo tho."

"What does Jerry Jones do after winning the Super Bowl? Gives the X Box back to grandkids"

"My masseur thinks he's naturally better than any masseuse. He's such a massagynist."

"Yes, autocorrect, I wanted to ask if she was all tight. Thank you. Now I know."

"I'm so incapable of accepting a compliment that I've started just flat out refusing them. Them: You look lovely today. Me: No thank you."

"Did you hear about the wooden horse? Wooden poop."

"If the doorbell rings, its normal to drop, shimmy across the floor, press your body to the wall & not breath till the person is gone, right?"

"What do you call a scary horse? A night-mare."

"KID:Dad what's the difference between a gerbil and a rat DAD WHO IS A MAFIA BOSS:A gerbil sleeps in a cage and a rat sleeps with the fishes"

"Mom , Mom, they call me ""the Cliffhanger"" in School... ... Mom: Why is that my son? Son: Because...[Walking dead Intro/outro plays loud]"