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Joke of the Day

"When the side effect of a quit smoking aid is suicide, they really mean their guarantee that you'll stop smoking."

"what's that lassie? ""Bark"" Timmy's in a well? ""Bark"" and he's jerkin it? ""Bark"" he's looking at what?! ""Bark"" dude I've heard enough"

"how did the constipated... How did the constipated mathematician solve his problem... He just worked it out with a pencil."

"My wife went into labor this morning and I was excited until I saw that it's somebody's birthday on FB that I didn't like."

"How many ""friendzoned"" guys does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They just compliment it and get mad when it won't screw."

"No one in traffic ever catches me eatin boogers cause u all textin and drivin"

"What's the difference between an elephant and a gooseberry ? A gooseberry is green !"

"How can you make money fast? Glue it to the floor."

"Finding a good date is like looking for a parking spot... all the good ones are taking and the rest are handicapped."

"What's really important to a bat when they are looking for a new home? Echo-location, location, location (Replace ""bat"" with ""zubat"" if you wish.)"