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Joke of the Day

"Today is Short Girl Appreciation Day... (NSFW) and I don't get it. I appreciate short girls every day; sometimes twice!"

"I slept on my neck funny and today I will be turning my whole body like Batman every time I have to look at something."

"Xbox One and PS4 Get into a car crash... And here comes the ambulance ""WIIUWIIUWIIUWIIUWIIU"""

"Damn girl Just $5 for a blowjob? You have syphigonnaidsitis or something?"

"What's the best thing about fucking a transvestite? Reaching around the front and thinking, just for a second, that's it's gone all the way through"

"A man comes home to his wife ""honey,"" he says, ""pack your bags. I just won the lottery!"" ""That's amazing! What should I pack?"" ""I don't care. Just pack your bags and get the fuck out of here."""

"I sneezed and my bra unsnapped. I think this cold is trying to seduce me."

"Doctor Doctor you've taken out my tonsils my adenoids my gall bladder my varicose veins and my appendix but I still don't feel well. That's quite enough out of you !"

"What do you call a man who makes fart scented candles? Incense-itive"

"You know you're a bad driver when your GPS tells you ""after 400 feet stop and let me out"""