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Joke of the Day

"Your potato salad recipe is not a ""family secret"", your uncle Ray who cooks meth in his trailer home is a family secret."

"moms outraged over new ninja turtels movie. ""theres too much violence"" says one mom. says another ""they r named after guys who sculpt butts"""

"Teenage Driver: But officer I'm a college man. Policeman: Sorry but ignorance is no excuse."

"When I really sit down and think about it My ass has seen some shit"

"Why do chemists go to the gym so much? Before they titrate, they need to get buffer!"

"What's the hardest part about roller blading? Telling your parents that you're gay."

"There are alot of Hillary signs in my neighborhood... When did she change her last name to 'For Prison'?"

"What did the sadist say to the masochist? No Probably has been put on here before but it made me chuckle."

"WIFE: Please take the trash out ME: Ok *later that night* ME: I'm having a nice time TRASH: Wow, the food here is spicy AF"

"If a tree falls in the woods.... .....and no one is around to hear it. Will a hipster buy the soundtrack?"