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Joke of the Day

"It's no wonder we've never met an alien, i'd have a hard time developing a space program if no one believed in me, too."

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"Why doesn't a chicken wear pants? Because its pecker is on its head. (Get the reference?)"
"What's the worst part about eating out an 80 year old? Depends"
"""I love you. I love you. Pay attention to me. I love you. Ok I'm fed now. I HATE YOU DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME!"" - Cats"
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bassoon ! Bassoon who ? Bassoon things will be better !"
"I like girls who don't study. Because they want the D."
"Compromising with your woman doesn't mean you are wrong & she is right. It only signifies that sex is more important than your ego."
"If you don't know the difference between there, their, and they're... Your a moron."
"A handsome man came up to me today & said ""Hi what's your name?"" I said ""You on Twitter?"" He said ""No"" We're getting married on Monday!"
"Business idea Souvernir Shops in abortion clinics - so noone leaves empty handed"