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Joke of the Day
"My kid swallowed a torch today... It's ok - it was removed and now he's delighted."
Next Joke
"My grandpa told me that ""your generation relies too much on technology."" I responded with, ""No, your generation relies too much on technology."" Then I unplugged his life support."
"Hillary should make Bernie the ambassador to Japan. His knowledge of harpooning whales will definitely help bridge the cultural divide."
"Italian restaurant. I went to my local Italian restaurant last night, but there was a large fat woman standing at the entrance. I couldn't get pasta."
"What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say? Beat it. We're closed."
"Overheard a phone conversation today **Father** - ""What has a small dick and hangs down? **Son** - ""What?"" **Father** - ""A bat. What has a big dick and hangs up?"" **Son** - ""What?"" ""click"""
"I spilled water on my computer. 0/10. 10/10 with rice."
"A rabbi, a Priest, and a duck walk into a bar... and the bartender says ""What is this, a fucking joke?"""
"If I'm busy and see an interesting article, I open it in a new tab, read the first paragraph, and later, when I have time, close the tab"
"I'm voting my fridge for president. Because America needs to chill the fuck out."