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Joke of the Day

"Saw a cute girl at work today. I told her I get off in five minutes and she smiled. Then I said I finish work in one hour and she left."

"What do you call a confident chicken? Cocky"

"What is the difference between your dog and your girlfriend? You can get your dog to come."

"If I was a superhero, I would be ""not right now"" man."

"To err is human; to moo bovine."

"LPT: If you need to remove your contact lenses after touching spicy peppers (Ghost, etc.) Leave the contacts in. I don't recommend going to the bathroom either."

"Sometimes I draw a penis on my face before I go out so people know I'm there to fucking party."

"It's that time of year. Can't stop eating cornucopias."

"I usually do not show favoritism... I usually do not show favoritism between my two daughters, but only one of them does anal."

"Why are lesbians superstitious? Because they are always knocking on wood."