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Joke of the Day

"How long does it take for a baby to explode in the microwave? I dont know, I close my eyes when I masturbate"

"What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber? Nothing. You can't cross a vector and a scalar."

"I was thinking of inventing some chilli flavoured sun cream. But for now I've put it on the back burner."

"Take her down to 3000 feet below sea level... ...oops, wrong sub."

"What's a pirate's favourite letter? You may think it's arr, but they are truly in love with the sea!"

"I bet if I was a hot chick and I left a status that said ""I'm brushing my hair"". It would get about 50 likes."

"How are Oklahoma 3.2 beers like sex in a canoe? They're both fucking close to water."

"Never trust an atom they make up everything"

"Why did Saddam Hussein never have sex? ....because he was afraid he'd see Bush."

"If you throw a stick of butter out the window what would you call it? A Butterfly!"