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Joke of the Day

"Why did the guy from Brooklyn cross the road? None of your f**king business."

"What do you get when a piano falls down a mine shaft? A flat minor."

"Wanna hear a joke? My mute friend told me this one."

"If a guy lives in a Spanish speaking country. And has last name is Rita. He would be Senor Rita."

"A lot of people are talking about Usain Bolt. I guess it's a running joke."

"I assume guys who wear their phones on the hip do so because their pockets are stuffed to the brim with condoms and girls phone numbers"

"[comes out of coma after 12 years] ME: Holy shit I forgot to set my AIM status to 'Away'! DOCTOR: you might want to take a seat"

"What has two arms,two legs and eats ants? Uncles"

"I just got a text from a number I don't recognize saying, 'You're an embarrassment of a son'. I've narrowed it down to 2 people."

"""I'm a huge fan."" - Peacocks"