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Joke of the Day

"Q: What's the difference between a chicken and a grape? A: They're both green except for the chicken."

"The other day someone asked me my 5 year plan I told them I don't have 2020 vision"

"Dudes named Chance never had one."

"I took some roadkill I hit home to barbeque for dinner, On a related note... anyone have any use for a child's bicycle and backback?"

"What's the definition of a will? Come on you guys, it's a dead giveaway!"

"Why did 10 die? Cuz he was in the middle of 9/11"

"Judge: You stated that the stairs went down to the basement is that correct? A: Yes. Judge: And these same stairs did the also go up?"

"Are you in a serious relationship with a rock? If you are, don't take it for granite"

"They say celebrities die in threes... Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson. Leave it to Billy Mays to throw in the fourth for free."

"I'm sick and tired of people telling me to turn off my lights to save the environment. I tried it once and I hit a cyclist.."